Thursday, August 5, 2021

Meanwhile in August

So July has come and gone and August has emerged... and I don't exactly feel at my peak. Ontop of realizing just how many projects I have left to contend with, including a very brief return to the Spriters' Resource to re-rip the entirety of the original Super Mario Bros. and its many offshoots, my sister ended up in an accident, leaving her with a concussion and having to spend her free time stuck in dark, dimly-lit rooms unable to look at any screens and it put a lot of stress on my family and myself as well, having to seal up all the windows with tarps and towels to prevent her from getting irritated plus ferry her around since she can't drive. While this was for the best of intentions, it made me feel really down deep inside, having to see my sister hurt in what would have been a big moment for her and the house having to reshape so she can navigate without too much eye strain was like we were all under the same effect and I was going nuts from the lack of light in the house for up to a little over a week. It also doesn't help that I wanted to catch the Olympics (despite 

Currently she is still recovering and while she's feeling better, it's still far from perfect, but still progress in the long run. That said the entire ordeal had much more of an effect on me than I would have thought, especially when earlier in the week I got my second and final COVID-19 shot to hopefully bring this pandemic fatigue on my end to a close- and it absolutely wrecked me the following day- I felt the worst I've felt in a long while and it made me realize just how uninspired I've been lately to do big projects, including getting to work on all these game-dev ideas on the mind as well as writing up more complete info on all these Aozora games and characters and getting both a personal website and Discord constructed. It made me feel alone and isolated, as if I didn't have anyone that would offer to lend a hand in a project of mine ever, even when the game-developing season kicks off in the future. It brought me to tears and it made me question my relationship with my family.

I know most of this is personal matters but I wanted to express how exactly I'm feeling at the moment and scenarios like this is why I opted to get vaccinated, so I can go out on ventures and have more social interactions without the fear of getting seriously ill. And I'd like to spend some time getting some of these "smaller" projects of mine that wouldn't induce as much stress as a larger project would finished before I suddenly add another one to the mix or develop yet another game idea in my head that'll have to be added to the list.

I'll keep everyone updated on Twitter if I have any new developments- I do have some trips planned for later in August to make up for the lack of cons and long drives outside my home area since November- though I'm not announcing where I'm going since these will be, for the most part, private ventures to boost my motivation to enjoy life and work harder.

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